-
she thought a hot meal was stolen food.
-
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays.
-
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog.
-
she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
-
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
-
she invented waterproof teabags.
-
she invented condoms with sweatholes.
-
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's.
-
she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.
-
tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
-
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
-
when you were born, she looked at the umbilical cord and said, "Hey, it comes
with cable."
-
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
-
she sold her car for gas money.
-
she checked the Lost and Found when she missed her period.
-
she got fired from a blow-job.
-
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed.
-
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor.
-
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
-
she thought Cheerios were donut seeds.
-
she married your daddy.
-
she cooks with Old Spice.
